General Terms and Conditions

1. Terms

By accessing this web site, you are agreeing to be bound by these web site Terms and Conditions of Use, all applicable laws and regulations, and agree that you are responsible for compliance with any applicable local laws. I say local laws, but that doesn't really make sense as this is a website. I mean, do the local laws of where you are living when you access the site apply, or do the local laws of where the server that hosts the website apply? Anyway, it doesn't really matter, so lets continue with the terms. If you do not agree with any of these terms, you are prohibited from using or accessing this site. Now this is just daft, becuase you've only just started reading the terms, and you can't have found anything that you don't agree with. Mind you, if you have found something, then stop reading this page. You should stop accessing the site and go away. Right now, I mean it, stop reading and stop using the site. You're still here? Alright then, we'll keep going. The materials contained in this web site are protected by applicable copyright and trade mark law.

2. Use License

Permission is granted to temporarily download one copy of the materials (information, pictures or other media) on this website for personal, non-commercial transitory viewing only. Only one copy, I said. If I catch you downling more than one, liek two or more, there will be trouble belive you and me. This is the grant of a licence, not a transfer of title, and under this licence you may not:

  • modify or copy the materials;
  • use the materials for any commercial purpose, or for any public display (commercial or non-commercial);
  • attempt to decompile or reverse engineer anything on this web site;
  • remove any copyright or other proprietary notations from the materials; or
  • transfer the materials to another person or "mirror" the materials on any other server.

This license shall automatically terminate if you violate any of these restrictions and may be terminated by me at any time. Not that I'm spending all my time checking out who is downloading material from the web site you understand. Even id you did break any of the conditions listed above, it's going to be pretty difficult for me to know exactly who you are and where you are access the site from. Upon terminating your viewing of these materials or upon the termination of this license, you must destroy any downloaded materials in your possession whether in electronic or printed format. SO if you copy some text or a picture from the site, and then print it and then the license is terminated you must make a small fire and burn the papers until they are a pile of ash. Or get a good quality shredder and chop the paper up into little pieces and put the remains into a recycling bag. Having said that, some authorities don't like taking shredded paper being put into recycling. Something to do with it clogging up the machine that sorts the paper, plastic and tins. In that case you have to put in in with the regular rubbish.

3. Disclaimer

The materials on this web site are provided "as is". I make no warranties, expressed or implied, and hereby disclaims and negates all other warranties, including without limitation, implied warranties or conditions of merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose, or non-infringement of intellectual property or other violation of rights. Further, I do not warrant or make any representations concerning the accuracy, likely results, or reliability of the use of the materials on this Internet web site or otherwise relating to such materials or on any sites linked to this site. Basically, don't take anything you read on this site to be the absolute gospel truth. Take it with a pinch of salt. Only a pinch, as people do tend to put salt on things even before they've tasted it, and that means their salt intake is too high.

4. Limitations

In no event shall this website or its suppliers be liable for any damages (including, without limitation, damages for loss of data or profit, or due to business interruption,) arising out of the use or inability to use the materials on this Internet site, even if an authorized representative has been notified orally or in writing of the possibility of such damage. Because some jurisdictions do not allow limitations on implied warranties, or limitations of liability for consequential or incidental damages, these limitations may not apply to you. I don't know how you could look at this website and suddenly lose a year's worth of data on your computer, or lose a vast amount of profit from your business but in case that does happen, I'm just saying it's not my fault. To paraphrase a certain television parody, "I'm sorry, but this has got nothing to do with us."

5. Revisions and Errata

The materials appearing on this web site could include technical, typographical, or photographic errors. I do not warrant that any of the materials on this web site are accurate, complete, or current. I may make changes to the materials contained on this web site at any time without notice. I do not, however, make any commitment to update the materials. It could be months between updates and then there could be a few all happening within a few days.

6. Links

I have not reviewed all of the sites linked to this Internet web site and I am not responsible for the contents of any such linked site. The inclusion of any link does not imply endorsement by me of the site. Use of any such linked web site is at the user's own risk. Now I could do a search and see how many other sites link to this one and go and check them all out, but really I couldn't be bothered. I mean, I might have done a search for my name to see how many times it comes up, but that was just for fun, and I only did it once.

7. Site Terms of Use Modifications

I may revise these terms of use for this web site at any time without notice. By using this web site you are agreeing to be bound by the then current version of these Terms and Conditions of Use. It would be near impossible to give notice to any changes anyway. Even if I did knwo who had looked at the site, I'm not going to able to find out everyone's email address and send a message saying I'm going to change the terms and conditions. I definately wouldn't know anyone's postal address, and would not write a letter to everyone who had visited the site telling them the me thing. I mean, the vost of post is always going up, and not everyone would live in the same country, so that would put the cost even more.

8. Governing Law

Any claim relating to this web site shall be governed by the laws of the United Kingdom without regard to its conflict of law provisions.

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